It's Been a While

I realize it's been some time since I've written anything on here. So very much has changed. I've changed more than I ever thought was possible and it's been all for the best. I'm much more focused on school and my schedule is pretty full between classes, being a research assistant, and now working two jobs. I don't mind it at all honestly. I really do like to stay busy. I haven't had enough time to screw up and that's a blessing. But I'd like to think that I just wouldn't now. It's nice to think that I have for once have my shit together. Although there is a lot going on right now that I'm not really crazy about I accept the fact that there is nothing I can do about them and let it go. Right now I can only fix what is manageable and accept what is not. It's great to wake up in the morning and not want to crawl under a rock. It has taken a lot but I can look at myself in the mirror and smile back at what I see. That is something that has been impossible for me for years. Really it's been my boyfriend who has done all this for me. Ever since I met him things have been on a steady incline. He's such a large source of motivation in my life and I don't even know if he's aware of it. Maybe it's just being in love, or maybe it's the amazing person that he is. I really don't know. For people that don't have someone like that in their life, that really sucks. Most of my friends are in shitty relationships or are just plain miserable in their lives and that's ridiculous. No one should be stuck in a rut that they are perfectly capable of getting themselves out of. Yes, it's amazing having someone to help you through it but you don't need someone to change yourself. And if you really need the help that bad, ask. Life isn't fair but it doesn't have to be complicated. Anyone can turn things around. As for me, I just hope things stay like they are. I have a feeling that they will. This feels permanent. This feels good. For the first time in a long time, I'm happy.