Get a Grip

Okay I'm starting to become rather annoyed at certain people. Actually just at one person.  Why can you not just grow up and accept things as they are? We broke up months ago. MONTHS dude. Yes things were left a little unfinished between us, I realize that.  But let's get some things straight. We dated for what...four months? If that. There is no reason for you to be so madly "in love" with me.  Yeah I get it, I'm fucking cool. The feeling was not mutual. Yes I enjoyed your company. But you were clingy as shit and I do not appreciate that in a person ever.  We broke up because I still had a lot of feelings for my ex. I even told you that. I didn't feel it was fair to you.  Yes I said maybe one day in the future we could try again. I made no promises. I gave no deadlines. I WAS BEING NICE.  I realized I gave you mixed feelings during the summer while I was still single but then I got back with my ex. That should say "hey, she obviously has more feelings for him than me, I should move the fuck on." But oh no. You didn't do that. You became more obsessed. Once I got back to school I realize things did become very confusing. But let me quote myself here "I don't have feelings for you anymore". DO YOU NOT REMEMBER WHEN THOSE WORDS CAME OUT OF MY MOUTH? Because I sure as shit do. And then we didn't talk for two weeks until we hung out randomly and you blew up in my fucking face accusing me of sleeping around because you saw me TALKING with another guy. Let's not forget the fact that I was still in a relationship at that point. And what I did was none of your business at all. Yes. I moved on from you. Things have changed drastically. I suggest you move the fuck on too instead of sending me messages about how you don't even want to be my friend anymore. And how angry and "enraged" you feel every time you see me. Also, how you would only feel better with revenge but can't think of a good enough way yet so you just hope the universe does it for you. So sorry I moved on from your psycho ass. I'm not really into the angry "I'm going to literally punch a guy in the face for talking to you" kind of guys. Yeah. I haven't forgotten about that. Oh and I found out you THREATENED another guy? Fucking psycho. I'm done. Yeah I know I was a bitch to you with some of the things I did. I apologize for that. But it's time to move the fuck on. Sorry you can't be man enough to just be happy for me. Okay I'm done ranting now I think. Just had to get that little bit off my chest there. Bitches.

The rules of "Sex Buddies"

Lately I've been hearing a lot about "friends with benefits", "fuck buddies", etc. And every time I hear about it, I hear about people breaking the rules. Oh yes. There are rules. You would think it would be simple right? It's just sex. Well that's how it's supposed to be. But no one seems to remember the rules. So I'm going to go ahead and rant about that right now. The best part about having a friends with benefits relationship is that there is no relationship. All that crappy emotional stuff that makes everything so complicated is out. But it's important to keep in mind a few things so that it doesn't get ruined.

1.) It is just sex. Not "hey wanna watch a movie and get some dinner?" No. It's just "hey my roommates are out, be here in five". That's it. Hanging out besides sex (unless it's in a large group, that's not too bad) just tends to lead to emotions. And that is bad. Remember that.

 2.) Cuddling afterwards=NO. Cuddling is the epitome of a relationship. This is not supposed to be something sweet and special. It's just High-Five and Out as I like to call it.

 3.) There is no reason to be a total dick though. Having more than one fuck buddy at a time is just a little excessive and mean. Even if emotions aren't in it, it's just rude. But if you do plan to have more than one, be honest about it. There's no reason to lie. The worst that happens? You lose one. But oh hey, you have another.

 4.) NO HANGING OUT BESIDES SEX. I really can't stress that enough. Seriously people. Seriously.

 5.) Cutesy little texts really aren't necessary. Save that for your boyfriend/girlfriend.

 I think that's all. It really annoys me how people still manage to screw up something as simple as this. Basically, if you don't want a relationship but you want sex, follow these rules and you really can't go wrong. If you suddenly decided "hey this person doesn't suck as human being and I wouldn't mind dating them" then go ahead and break the damn rules. But the in-between shit where one person just wants sex but is leading the other person on by completely disregarding everything I have just ranted about is fucked up. Stop that shit.

Fuck salt.

Confusion sucks. It sucks even worse when you know what you have to do and what you want to do but actually doing it means someone is going to get hurt. And no one wants that. On one half, I'm happy. Truly actually happy. I'm laughing and enjoying myself and shit. On the other half, I'm just meh. I'm not unhappy. But I could be happier. Shit has just gotten stale and old. Not bad, just stale. But there's no easy way to figure out what to do. I realize this is just incoherent rambling, but this venting is making me feel a little better. I don't feel nearly as shitty as I should though. But then again, should I feel shitty at all for being happy? It kind of makes me want to bang my head against the wall. Fuck decisions.

Overactive imaginations are a pain in the ass.

It sometimes really bothers me that life isn't like a movie. Whenever I hear a beautiful song (like the one I'm listening to now: To Build a Home by Cinematic Orchestra) I always try to image some scene in my head that goes along with it. Right now it's some montage of myself and my friends suddenly figuring everything out. Just getting up and fucking fixing shit. We're all a little confused right now I think. Which of course is life yes I know that, but I'm going to imagine this is a movie right now. This is the part where we're all sitting in separate places at night thinking about how things went wrong. And then this song comes on and we all get up and go fix whatever our problems are. Happy ending. But I guess in my daydreams I never consider that we have something else after that "happy ending". Reality. But fuck reality. I prefer to live in my head. Sometimes anyway. Anyway, time to get back to...whatever the fuck I was doing before this. I don't even know anymore.

Titty sprinkles.

It's weird how nothing has changed now that I'm back at school. It's like everyone vowed this year would be different from last and that we would all be a little better, hopefully a little smarter. But we all fell back into our old roles and nothing has changed. Which really doesn't bother me at all. I mean yes hopefully we don't make all the same mistakes we did last year and we're not complete idiots. Which so far, so good I think. Maybe not. But anyway, I think too much change is a bad thing. Enough to adapt and not be boring but not too much that it seriously fucks with some shit. "More mistakes, less regrets" seems like something we're going to stick with this year. I hope that doesn't blow up in our faces.